The other day, one of Mike’s buddies (let’s call him Ty) visited us with his family in tow. They live about couple of hours away and drove down on a Saturday morning. I have have met him a couple of time before and I get on reasonably well with his wife. And they have adorable toddler girl twins. So I was really excited about meeting them.
As soon as they entered our apartment, they exclaimed that our apartment looked very nice. We rent a pretty nice apartment though it has just one bedroom. About half our furniture is from Craigslist/hand me downs. We do have some nice accent pieces from Pottery Barn and Pier 1 Imports, but we shopped for those during sales and using coupons. And then the wife, let’s call her Vivian, started talking about how expensive good furniture was. This sort of behavior went on throughout the day with them commenting about everything we did in terms of money. When I served salad for lunch, she looked at the dressing from Trader Joes and talked about how she would love to shop there, but everything in there is so expensive. (It is not really, especially their wines)
And then in the late afternoon, the topic turned to vacations. We talked about taking a weekend trip together. When I suggested New Orleans, Ty immediately said they would rather go to some place drivable rather than fly since it would be expensive. I agreed and was about to say something to that effect when Ty continued to talk about how they were not a dual income family and could not afford to spend like we do. Mike and I were taken aback at this point since he seemed very defensive. And then Vivian piped in about how expensive baby stuff was and that they had a lot of credit card debt. They talked a little more about this and hinted that we were the kind of people who didn’t care about family and cared more for money. All because I work!
I agree that dual income does bring in more money each month. But there are expenses that go with it. We are a 2 car family while they can get by with one. Also case in point, my student loans, that eats into what we can save. While it sounds frivolous, going to work means buying some nice clothes and the associated dry-cleaning costs etc. Many evenings, we are tired to cook and end up eating out or buying Lean Cuisine meals. At the end of it all, maybe we take a few more weekend trips than they do, but we would have done that even if I didn’t work.
I wanted to tell all this to them but I didn’t. Mainly because this is our personal choice and we don’t need to justify this to anyone. Vivian has a 2 year degree from a community college and I am sure she can get a job if she wants to. Or go back to school and finish her degree. But she doesn’t because she chooses not to and I respect that. I can’t fathom their half condescending, half jealous attitude. Maybe if we lived in a mansion and we each earned millions and spent the whole day at work, they might be justified in thinking what they think. But we are just regular people, living in an apartment!! I am so annoyed by their remarks that I don’t ever want to meet with them again.
Mike thinks I am being extreme and just wants to let this whole thing slide. But I don’t think I can keep my mouth shut if this kind of crazy talk continues. Is it just me or do DINKs get a lot of flack from others?