Partner Woes

How do the other PF bloggers deal with their spouse who is not on board 100%.

A few weeks ago Mike and I had a long talk and I filled him in on details about where we stand debt wise. We both agreed that we needed to chomp at the student loan and set up an aggressive goal to pay it off by this year.

Fast forward to today. Mike’s buddy (let us call him Jim) and his wife are visiting some family in Illinois and wanted to visit with us for a few days. I was totally on board with that because I like Jim and haven’t met his wife yet. But Jim wants Mike to pick him up from his in-laws’ place and drive them to our place. This is a 3-4 hours drive and normally I wouldn’t mind doing this. But apparently Jim and his wife have a lot of bags and luggage with them and Jim has asked Mike to rent a SUV and pick him up. This is where I draw the line. Firstly, I think this is a pretty big favor to spring on a friend. Also he expects us to pay for the rental, not just drive up and pick him up. Hotwire gives me prices upwards of $125 for a one day rental. Also there is a bus service that runs every few hours between Illinois and our place and it is very comfortable. But Jim is reluctant to take the bus. Tell me readers, am I crazy to think that Jim is taking us for a ride? This is not the first time this has happened and there have been a few times in the past where we have paid for dinners and concert tickets for Jim. Mike thinks I am overreacting and making a fuss over nothing.

Since I don’t want to be the wife who comes between the husband and his buddy I have washed my hands off this and have let Mike do what he wants. But I would really like to know what everyone thinks about this. Am I just being cheap?

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9 Responses to Partner Woes

  1. Namine says:

    god no. let the guy pay his own way. You shouldn’t have to pay for him to come visit. You are letting them stay at your house eat your food and your probably gonna end up paying for entertainment. They can find their own way.

  2. LBC Teacher says:

    Heck no! It’s a lot to ask for a ride in the first place (can’t believe he didn’t offer gas money), but it’s ridiculous to ask someone to rent a car for them. Why can’t the friend rent the car and drive himself to your house?

    • Ella says:

      You know I said the same thing. He never offered gas money and neither did he offer to pay for the rental. Mike says he might do it afterwards, but I think it is shameful that he didn’t try to make that clear. The problem is his parents and inlaws pamper them too much and they expect the same from the rest of the world

  3. MAH says:

    You are not over reacting. At this rate it would be cheaper for you all to go visit them.

  4. MAH says:

    I know you washed you hands of this, but where in your budget is the money going to come from?

    • Ella says:

      That was very insightful. The way we currently budget is that my salary is used for rent, car payments, insurance, food etc, while Mike’s salary is used for paying down student loan debt and saving. So money for this would come from what we would have saved.

  5. I am in absolute shock at this “friend.” To answer your first question–my spouse gets on board because I make him. I know that sounds like I’m tough, but seriously he is reckless with money and knows this so that’s why I manage it.
    And second–if you feel “bad” , let me tell you–I have Eric HELL for spending $10 on fireworks for a friend. It’s a long complicated story but I was furious.

    • Ella says:

      You are so right. Mike has a good head, but he tends to overboard sometimes. I think I need to be more vocal when it comes to something like this. I wouldn’t even mind if this was for something that Mike wanted to buy or spend for himself. But to spend this ridiculous amount on some friend’s whimsy is not right in my books.
      Haha I bet that fireworks story is good one! Woman, you are my hero 🙂

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